What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we made out on top of his cat.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
