Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
