you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
