Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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