Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
