he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
