The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
