i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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