I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
