I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
