When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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