It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
