I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
