Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
