The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
