I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
