So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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