He asked me if I "almost moaned"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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