i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
