we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
