when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
