i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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