Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
