Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
