His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
