Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
