Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
