so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
