who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I wanna passion pit in your ass
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
