Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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