im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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