Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
