C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
