just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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