shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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