I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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