the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
