If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
