Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
