party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
