Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
