I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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