chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
where does the pee come out of this thing
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize