We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
