I wish life had little blips of pornography
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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