Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize