I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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