My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
