Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
