Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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