..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
