Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
