so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
