Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
