You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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