I hate your face
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
