Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
