Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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