They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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