I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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