you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
