The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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