Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I need moral support for this bender
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize
