I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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