sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
