Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
