Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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