Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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