She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just gargled with NyQuil
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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