I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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