He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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