Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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