? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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