don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Redeem this text for a blowjob
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
