When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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