Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm having to shit out rocks
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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