I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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