there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just high enough for therapy.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
