Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
