theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
